Men Marry Women by Albert Einstein

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed.” - Albert Einstein

Posted by EWS Quotes Posted in: Funny Quotes No Comments » June 2008

If You Don’t by Yogi Berra

“If you don’t know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else!” - Yogi Berra

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It Is Necessary by Richard Nixon

“It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody.” - Richard Nixon

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Never Play Peekaboo by Rita Rudner

“Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There’s no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, “Look, it’s always gonna be me!” - Rita Rudner

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Americans by Dan Rather

“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.” - Dan Rather

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My Wife by Rodney Dangerfield

“My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.” - Rodney Dangerfield

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I Was Married by Groucho Marx

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” - Groucho Marx

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Always End by Bill Cosby

“Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.” - Bill Cosby

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Honolulu by Ken Dodd

“Honolulu - it’s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother.” - Ken Dodd

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My Forumula by Paul Getty

“My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.” - Paul Getty

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